


Romanticide

by Susanoosama01



Series: Midam Week 2020 [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Forbidden Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26734951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susanoosama01/pseuds/Susanoosama01
Summary: This is bad, wrong on every level.Adam knows that much. He freaking knows. So why can’t he stop it? Why can’t he get a hold of himself?Michael is-Dean's husband.
Relationships: Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Michael & Adam Milligan, Michael/Adam Milligan, Michael/Dean Winchester
Series: Midam Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923550
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Romanticide

This is bad, wrong on every level. 

Adam knows that much. _He freaking knows._ So why can’t he stop it? Why can’t he get a hold of himself? His mom didn’t raise him like this. If she was alive, she would be ashamed of her son now. If she was here and knew- Hell, if anyone knew, Adam would have been kicked out of the family altogether long ago. He wouldn’t be able to face his family anyway. This is- It wasn’t ever supposed to happen. It wasn’t supposed to start. It wasn’t supposed to turn into anything more than a stupid teenager crush. It wasn’t supposed to get out of hand like this. It wasn’t supposed to hurt. _This is wrong._ Adam knows it is. 

He slowly slides down to sit on the floor with his back against his bedroom door. Soon someone, probably Sam or Jess, will come up to this floor to look for him. Adam made a rather hasty exit and quite openly ran up the stairs. He is sure everyone noticed that. _Everyone._ His father. Sam. Jess. Dean. Even- 

_Michael._

God what if Michael comes to check on him? What if he sees Adam like this? What if he understands? What if he hurries back downstairs and tells everyone about the pathetic college kid with pathetic tears over something he had no right to- to _feel_? What if they all come up pounding the door and demanding answers? What if- Logically, Adam knows that won’t ever be the case. Michael wouldn’t go and blame someone for something so horrible based on a hunch or an assumption. His family wouldn’t ever believe something so outrageous would be possible. Adam is the protegé among his brothers. He is the youngest, the baby of the family even at twenty. He is his father’s favorite. He is everyone’s little brother, the one they all adore. So they wouldn’t even believe it. And Michael isn’t the type to follow someone to give comfort. Adam is sure the older man didn’t even see him in the first place. No. Michael has eyes for only Dean. So that’s a- It should relieve Adam to know he won’t be caught in this state. He should take a deep breath and relax. 

He sobs harder. _Michael has eyes for only Dean._ The thought clouds his mind and hurts, breaking something so deep within that Adam can’t even tell what. But then again, what part of his heart hasn’t been broken? What part of his soul is unfrayed? Ever since he lost his mom… Ever since he was left without the only one to actually care for him and not pretend like he is sure others all do… Ever since Dean got married… Ever since _he_ first stepped into this house…

_Michael._

Why can’t Adam make it stop? Why can’t he save himself from this? Why is he so weak, so-

He remembers. 

The first day Dean brought Michael to meet with the family and have dinner together. Adam was eighteen then, about to graduate from highschool. It was the first time he saw his alder brother that excited, that happy. Dean was literally flying on his feet, dancing on every step. He was running back and forth in the dining room trying to make sure everything was as flawless as this faceless man he kept talking about. Michael was apparently working in one of Dean’s auto galleries. They met one rainy evening when Dean’s beautiful Impala needed a check up and he drove over to the nearest _Winchester’s_ to have someone help him with her. Normally, he does everything regarding the car himself so on that dinner, both Dean and Michael kept repeating how it was destiny that made them meet. Adam was bored out of his mind honestly. To him, the two weren’t destined or made for each other or some other nonsense they claimed to be the case. In fact, all through the three hours Michael spent in the mansion, Adam was silently debating how many months it would take for them to fall apart. Back then, he immediately thought he was faced with a fortune hunter. What else could someone dating a man who was basically their boss be? 

They didn’t split. No. Each passing day brought them closer and Adam witnessed along with the rest of the family how Dean the playboy, the heartbreaker, fell deeper and deeper. Finally, one spring day last year, Dean was finally stuck. A couple pretty lines and a ring each then a shared kiss sealed it. Michael was officially a Winchester. He was part of the family. He was… _Dean’s husband._

Dean’s husband. 

Adam repeats it in his head and tries to make his sobs subside to no avail. He already knows that. The fact didn’t stop him from dancing with Michael on the wedding day and noticing for the first time how those green eyes, dark strands and strong lines on the older man’s pale face made him uniquely attractive in a way Adam couldn’t name then. It didn’t stop Adam from chatting more with Michael than anyone else as they visited the nearby colleges. It didn’t stop him from smiling genuinely when Michael was the one who caught the graduate cap Adam threw in the air with the rest of his friends once they got their highschool diplomas. It didn’t stop him from getting in Impala’s backseat every morning for Dean to drop him to school just to hear Michael reading the morning paper aloud for Dean in the passenger seat. It didn’t stop him from eagerly going for it when he got his first stethoscope and Michael undid three buttons of his shirt with a chuckle for Adam to try it. It didn’t stop him from dancing with Michael the most in his own birthday party and wearing the watch Michael got him almost everyday. It didn’t- Well, it certainly didn’t stop Adam from slowly but surely realising why he liked this man so much when he wasn’t one to take well to strangers at first. 

He remembers how everyone was surprised after a month or so of Michael moving in that Adam was treating him as if they had known each other for years. Jess and Dean were joking about that constantly. Sam was claiming wanting to be a doctor was opening Adam up towards new people, his father was ruffling his hair on the breakfast table and Michael was smiling at Adam with promises of always being friends like in those days. Adam was fairly surprised at himself too. He hadn’t yet figured out why it lifted his mood when Michael smiled or why his heart beat fast in mornings when Michael also got out of the car to walk the last few blocks to work from Adam’s campus. 

Time passed like that. 

Adam would pull all nighters for finals and share coffee with Michael who was some kind of insomniac at the kitchen table. He would choose to stay under the parasol not wanting to get sunburns and Michael would sit with him because he didn’t know how to swim in the pool and never let Dean try to teach him. They would go shopping for a formal event and Adam would find himself looking at green ties and handkerchiefs instead when he was supposed to choose something for himself. Once, he got a cold right before a midterm. Jess and his father were at his bedside desperately trying to make him comfortable. Then Michael came with a steaming bowl and told him the story of three younger brothers who all loved big brother’s special soup when they weren’t feeling well. His father went out for a meeting shortly and Jess got a call from Sam so for nearly half an hour, it was just Adam and Michael in his bedroom. The bedtray over his lap was wobbly, or maybe his head was spinning but without him comprehending how, Michael was feeding him spoonfuls of soup himself. It was still his early days so maybe he was trying to make them love him but Adam’s mind wasn’t in a state to think about any of that at all. He was better already, he was about to jump out of bed laughing. Then Dean came from work, wanted to check on his little brother and kissed his husband right in front of Adam. And all at once, Adam was weighed down and aching. 

It started- Adam isn’t sure _when_ it started but it was innocent at the beginning. Michael was a new face, someone likable and admirable. Adam was having all that teen drama, feeling alone at college, getting stressed with schoolwork and someone who wasn’t directly related to him treating him so nicely, befriending him and caring for him was… pleasant. Also this someone happened to be gorgeous from every last strand of hair to each nail. Michael was- It was as if he was born to define the word perfect. And soon, Adam was staring more than what was acceptable, laughing and smiling in their small chats, sketching green eyes on the corners of his study notes and trying to discourage himself from going into that one ridiculously expensive perfume store in the mall and looking for that one scent that followed Michael and that he loved so much. 

He doesn’t even know how no one else in the house noticed it for fifteen whole months Michael has been here. Adam is obvious, an open book, even he is aware of that himself. So it’s pure chance he hasn’t been caught yet. Just a few minutes ago downstairs, Adam was again dancing with Michael and standing almost too close. Dean was busy telling the guests about his newest gallery, the reason for the celebration, and drinking from tiny glasses so unlike himself and his absolute love for supermarket beer. Then suddenly, Adam had found his brother’s eyes directed at them as he and Michael laughed about something and their cheeks brushed against each other when Michael tilted his head down in an effort to hold down the chuckles. Dean saw. 

Adam was holding Dean’s husband close enough to feel each other’s breaths and they were laughing together almost as if having forgotten about the party and the rest of the people. _Dean saw._ Adam ran. He waited until the dance was over and he ran. The last thing he saw was Michael walking to Dean and them sharing a tender kiss before joining the other couples when the next song started. 

Michael didn’t even look to see where Adam was going with such hurry when they were enjoying themselves in comfortable chattering a moment ago. 

_Michael has eyes only for Dean._

He will never look at Adam. 

Never. 

It is impossible. It is wrong. And it shouldn’t have happened. Adam shouldn’t have fallen in love with his brother’s husband. He shouldn’t have decided to still go to the nearby college and stay in the mansion close to Michael and Dean. How he regrets not having moved into another state now… He should have done just that. He should have put distance between himself and Michael the moment he noticed he might be feeling something a bit more than what people feel for family. He should have saved himself from this. He should have done anything for that. Now, he is betraying his brother in the worst way possible. And for what? A man he met only two years ago. _Dean._ His own brother. 

How could Adam do this? 

Does it matter that he feels he spent a millenium with Michael now? Does it matter that Michael reminds him of an angel? Does it matter that Adam finds himself dreaming of the end of the world at night and thinks he would let that happen if Michael chose him over the one he was _destined_ with? Does it matter that the feelings have already become that serious? 

No. Of course not. It all makes Adam a cheater even without the active adultery part. 

Slowly, he gets up and goes to throw himself on his bed. His legs are sore and he is cold from sitting on the cold floor all that time. No one came anyway. Adam can just shrug of his jacket and excuse himself with a headache or something if anyone wonders why he is in his room when there is a party downstairs. 

The thoughts and the image of green eyes still haunt his mind. Adam closes his eyes, shakes his head and falls on his side to curl on the bed. It is wrong. It is bad. Adam knows that. He has to get himself together and snap out of this nonsense. He knows that too. Michael is Dean’s husband, the fact that Adam feels these things makes him- Michael himself would be disgusted if he knew. What he wants, what his heart desires, can never happen. It is impossible. It’s better this way. 

So why does it hurt?

Why does Adam wish for a chance, an alternate reality he at least has one passionate hour with the only man on Earth he isn’t allowed to love? 

_It will never happen._

Adam turns around and shuffles a little to get under the sheets. As he does, something falls on the carpet with a soft thump. His legs get tangled with the comforter too. So with a sigh, Adam gets up to first change then properly get in the bed. When he lowers his feet from the side of the bed, he steps on something, a book. It was probably what fell down earlier, he thinks before leaning down to pick it up. He doesn’t remember going to bed with a book last night. And the maid would have put it back on the shelves. Must have escaped her attention. 

The book isn’t from Adam’s library. He turns the front side to see what it is and nearly drops the thing. He has to blink, shake his head again and turn on the nightside lamp to be sure he isn’t going crazy. He didn’t even have any alcohol too. So how-

The cover has two men standing side by side in front of a black classic car that is all too familiar. 

_Supernatural: Book I by Carver Edlund._

What the hell is this thing? Is someone pulling an elaborate prank on him? Who? Dean? Why would the same man who has the humour sense of middle schoolers go and have a stupid book printed to prank him for no reason when all he does is to take secret photos or put glitter in his shampoo if he is feeling creative on April Fools?

Where did this book even come from? 

And why is it signed for-

_To Adam Milligan,_

_Maybe you had that chance once?_

_Carver Edlund._

What the hell is happening? 

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was another one sitting at the back of my head. Hope it will turn out all right.


End file.
